Friday Blues

Today was a day of let downs, boredom and work; set appropriately enough against a soft-wet grey sky. First of all the person I'm closest to in Italian told me that she's decided to redo first year, and switch to drama. Which is cool and all-I'm sure that's what she wants, but it shook me more than it should. Probably because I've been having a few doubts myself recently about courses and such...but also just because it's always nice to have a good friend on your course. I mean, I get on well with a few people in Italian but still...it was a little out of the blue.

However the real kicker today came with the news that it's never going to happen with the person I have a crush on for one reason or another. Without having any real right to I feel a certain sense of loss and disappointment. Nothing has really changed, all that has been destroyed are my stupid naive hopes. I got caught up in the rush of passion and didn't stop to think rationally. There's nothing to be done now, other than get over it and move on. Even if I can't suddenly stop finding someone attractive, I can at least stop thinking about them. It feels a little painful, but better to know now than later. In any case, I have an essay to do, a social life to maintain and financial issues to resolve; my life is full enough already without romance.

Not that I'd say no to some...